The goodbye letter

After 15 months we broke up, or better, he let go. I was livid, furious, and so I wrote him a letter..I decided to write because I felt like something had to be done, a few words had to be spent and since you are not making any move, I had to.
Let me start by saying that I am hurt, confused, and shocked. But at the same time happy.

I am hurt because I trusted a man for 15 months, believing we were building something together, sharing my life and dreams with him. I trusted the fact that a 37 year old man would know what he wants and would be able to share his intentions, desires and concerns with his partner. I am hurt because I was ready to talk and fight for this relationship, and instead you let me down. You promised it would not be a goodbye and instead you disappeared, didn't return my messages and didn't even had the decency to write me a note, or a letter to explain your decision.

I am confused, because I cannot believe that all the things you brought up that monday (1 month ago) had been growing inside of you. I am confused because the night before you made love to me, and mentioned nothing about your thoughts. I am confused because you are supposed to be a communicator, someone who shares his knowledge with his students and his faith with your fellows at the church, and yet in 15 months you were not capable of sharing your concerns with the person that was sleeping next to you every night.

I am shocked. Shocked by the person you turned out to be, by the sudden turn around and the immediate disappearance. You are the man who helps students, who helps friends, family, and yet you didn't even once asked if I was ok or needed to talk after our discussion. You didn't try to reach out, soothe the pain, be a friend. Nothing.

Finally I am happy, I am happy to be strong and surrounded by lovely people that love me. I am happy to have the guts to tell you what I think while you clearly haven't. I am happy to say that I loved you, that I thought we were going to have a future together. Happy to confess that I have some wonderful memories of you and that it hurts to think that we will not go on another Tuscany trip together, or to Tunisia together. But I am also happy that life goes on and the future is bright.

Things change, for the better.
I hope one day you will be able to talk to me, frankly.